This excerpt is from “Reclaiming the Power of Lost Femininity” by Robert A. Johnson in New Realities, September/October, 1990.
A profound lesson about the way that feminine energy can be returned to modern life is illustrated by one of the legends of King Arthur. Again we return to the mythic dimension of life to learn about our interior psychological dynamics. In general, the Arthurian stories chronicle the new idea of chivalry and nobility, but they recount only a partial delivery of femininity from its bondage. One story, though, is far in advance of its time (or are we so far behind in our comprehension?), alluding to a transformation of darkness into light. It is the story of Arthur and the puzzling questions: “What does woman really want?”
King Arthur, in his youth, was caught poaching in the forests of the neighboring kingdom and was caught by its king. He might well have been killed immediately, for that was the punishment for transgressing the law of property and ownership. But the neighboring king was touched by Arthur’s youth and winsome character. He offered Arthur freedom is he could find the answer to a very difficult question within one year. The question? What does woman really want? This would stagger the wisest of men and seemed insurmountable for the youth. But it was better than hanging, so Arthur returned home and began questioning everyone he could find. Harlot and nun, princess and queen, wise man and court fool—all were approached, but none could give a convincing answer. Each advised, however, the old witch. The cost would be high, for it was proverbial in the realm that the old witch charged ruinous prices for her services.
The last day of the year arrived, and Arthur was finally driven to consult the hag. She agreed to provide an answer that would satisfy, but the price had to be discussed first. And her price was marriage to Gawain, the noblest knight of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend. Arthur gazed at the old witch in horror—she was ugly, had but one tooth, gave forth a stench that would sicker a goat, made obscene sounds, and was hump-backed—the most loathsome creature he had ever encountered. Arthur quailed at the prospect of asking his lifelong friend to assume this terrible burden for him. But Gawain, hearing of the bargain, asserted that this was not too much to offer for the life of his companion and the preservation of the Round Table.
The wedding was announced, and the old hag gave of her infernal wisdom: What does woman really want? She wants sovereignty over her own life! Everyone knew on the instant of hearing this that great feminine wisdom had been spoken and King Arthur would be safe. The neighboring ruler did, indeed, give Arthur his freedom when he heard the answer.
But the wedding! All the court was there, and none was more torn between relief and distress than Arthur himself. Gawain was courteous, gentle, and respectful; the old witch exhibited her worst manners, wolfed the food from her plate without aid of utensils, emitted hideous noises and smells. Never before or sense had the court of Arthur been subject to such a strain. But courtesy prevailed, and the wedding was accomplished.
Over the wedding night we shall draw a curtain of circumspection, except for one astonishing moment. When Gawain was prepared for the wedding be and waiting for his bride to join him, she appeared as the loveliest maiden a man could ever wish to see! Gawain in his amazement asked what had happened. The maiden replied that because Gawain had been courteous to her, she would show him her hideous aspect half of the time and her gracious aspect the other half of the time: which did he choose for the day and which for the night? This was a cruel question to put before a man, and Gawain made rapid calculations. Did he want a lovely maiden to show forth during the day, when all of his friends could see, and a hideous hag at night in the privacy of their chamber; or did he want a hag during the day and a maiden in the intimate moments of their life? The noble Gawain replied that he would lit his bride choose for herself. At this she announced that she would be fair damsel to both day and night, since he had given her respect and sovereignty over her own life.